


Rhack Drabbles

by RueSinger



Category: Borderlands (Video Games), TFTBL - Fandom
Genre: Bluejay!Rhys, Eridian!Rhys, M/M, Peacock!Jack, THe Handsome Peacock, Various AUs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 05:59:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13874637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RueSinger/pseuds/RueSinger
Summary: Various Rhack drabbles that I got from Tumblr requests. Please enjoy!





	1. The Eridian Vault Ticket

Jack was rushing down the halls of Helios. He was wearing his Hyperion sweater and jeans. Not his typical attire, but today was supposed to be his day off. He also happened to have a lot of “me time” planned and was not happy in the slightest about being called in. It was rare when he got a day off damn it! The scientists has sworn up and down that it was important though, and Jack hoped they weren’t exaggerating….

For their sake.

The elevator door slid opened

“All right ass hats,” Jack barked, not even giving any of his underlings time to address him, “What was so goddamn important that you had to call me down here on my day off huh? Just let it be known that if I’m not impressed, one of you- no- ALL of you are getting thrown out of the airlock okay? Okay. Good we’re understanding each other.”

All of the scientists were silent. All of them were feeling the same dread. What if Jack wasn’t impressed with what they had brought back from Pandora? What if they had royally screwed up? With Jack, there were rarely second chances. However, it was clear to all of them that Jack was getting more and more annoyed with every passing second filled with silence. Suddenly, one of the younger scientists spoke up, “Handsome Jack s-sir. We… We, uh, found something y-you may be interested in down on Pandora.”

“Yeah. I got that part. Why don’t you tell me what it freakin is ya moron.”

The scientist shuddered, Jack’s ruthless gaze boring into him. Unable to speak, he motioned for Jack to follow him.

The CEO pushed through the crowd of scientists, as he followed the shaking man. As they walked, he glanced at the progress of various weapons and experiments. He might as well, just in case this entire trip was a bust. Suddenly, the young scientist stopped in from of a cage.  
“There it is sir… We caught-”

“An Eridian,” Jack grinned, “Well, it looks like you guys aren’t complete disappointments after all!”

The creature didn’t seem to happy, but Jack wouldn’t really have expected anything less. He on the other hand, was ecstatic. These were the beings that created the guardian, therefore they could get him into a vault.

“Why don’t you get out of here and leave me and our new friend alone.”

The scientist nodded quickly and bolted out of the room, thankful to be alive. Jack turned his attention back to the eridian and stepped closer. “Well kitten, you got a name? You are gonna be real important to me, so I don’t want anything to happen to you alright?”  
The eridian just growled in response. Jack had to admit that he was surprised at how human the creature looked. Besides the horns and purple skin, he looked average and not much of a threat. He was a skinny thing, mostly leg, and Jack couldn’t help but notice that his left eye and right arm were missing. “Ya know,” Jack started, “I could get you some replacements and fix you up a bit if you’d like.”  
“I don’t need your help!” the eridian snapped, “You’re a kidnapper!”

“Ah so you can speak!”Jack laughed, making the creature even angrier, “And to be fair sweetheart, I’m not the one who kidnapped you. However, I am the man who can get you outta here. So what do you say? Wanna make a deal?” Jack was the eridian’s only ticket out. He was a businessman, bargaining and making deals were just a part of the job.

The eridian was silent. It seemed like he was going over his options. Clearly he didn’t want to give in to someone that he considered his captor, but on the other hand, he didn’t want to be stuck here. While Jack did enjoy the look of turmoil on his face, he did want to go home and enjoy his day off. So if the damn creature could make up his mind, that’d be great.

“It’s Rhys.”

Jack was surprised by the noise, “What?”

“My name is Rhys.”

“Rhys,” Jack repeated, “That’s a nice name you got there Rhysie.”

“Yeah, yeah, look I’ll help you, but you have to promise to let me go afterwards,” he said, “Now what is it that you want?”

Joy swelled up in the CEO and he thought he’d die right there. This was almost too easy. He could practically taste that vault. “What do I want? Well Rhysie, what I want is a way into a vault, and I think that you can help me.” Jack watched as Rhys’ eyes (or eye) widened. It looked like he’d just seen a ghost. However, the look quickly disappeared.

“You want a vault? Fine. I’ll help you get into a vault. Just as long as you let me go.”

“Sure thing Rhysie, I’ll make sure I let you go.”

“Stop calling me Rhysie!”

“What? Sorry Rhysie I couldn’t quite catch that. I’ll be back tomorrow and we can talk more then,” Jack laughed as he walked away, leaving the cursing eridian behind him. Now he could spend his day off daydreaming about a vault.

_______

When Jack came back the next day, he was welcomed by Rhys glaring at him. A mad eridian wouldn’t do at all. Sure he’d get a vault either way, but he didn’t want to be annoyed while getting it. So, he dragged up a chair and sat in front of Rhys. “Mornin’ Princess. How’d you sleep?”

Rhys huffed and leaned against his prison. “Fine I guess. Would’ve been a lot nicer if I hadn’t been on the floor.”

Jack ignored that last part and continued on, to Rhys’ annoyance, “Good. Good. It occurs to me that we might’ve gotten off on the wrong foot yesterday kiddo. So today is dedicated to you. What do you like? Favorite foods, color, whatever.”

Rhys blinked. What was going on? Was this some sort of sick joke? “I, uh, I guess my favorite color is yellow? I like guava fruit….”

“Good good,” Jack cut him off, “I’ll make sure you get some later today. After all, you’re probably hungry right? And it’s a good thing you like yellow, you’ll fit right in here at Hyperion. I also scheduled you to get those implants today. I said I’d help you out for helping me, and I meant it. You’ll find that I’m a man of my word.”

“Wait wait wait. Implants? What are y-”  
“No need to thank me kiddo, there’ll be plenty of time for that later,” Jack cut off Rhys without a second thought, “I gotta get back to my office, but I’ll see you later after surgery okay?”

Rhys started to panic. Surgery? What? He didn’t ask for this! Sure missing his arm and eye was difficult, but he could manage! It was then that he noticed the man walking away. “Wait wait! I-”

“I’ll stop by to make sure they don’t destroy you sweetheart, you’re too good looking for anyone to mess up your features. Take that from one handsome man to another.”  
“I don’t even know your name asshole!” Rhys called.

Jack stopped, a slow chuckle escaped his lips as he turned around, “Name’s Handsome Jack Rhysie. CEO of Hyperion.”


	2. The Bird Brained Bluejay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another request we got off of tumblr for Peacock!Jack and Bluejay!Rhys. Handsomepeacock on Tumblr made Peacock!Jack and @madebynerdsfornerds made Bluejay!Rhys, so check out their blogs!  
> Seriously, they're super cool!

Jack had gotten bored around the office. He wanted something new. Sure, the high life of fancy looking men and women fawning over his colorful display was pretty sweet, but he wanted something different. The CEO wanted a challenge. He was tired of how easy it was to bed various people just because he was Handsome Freakin’ Jack and had the tail feather display of a god.  So when he saw a dash of blue that he’d never noticed around the office, he decided to give it a try.

Rhys was minding his own business. Henderson wanted coffee. Henderson wanted him to get paperwork done. Henderson needed those files. Henderson was going to make him crush his own skull with a computer monitor. Rhys had to keep reminding himself that this would all be worth it when he got that promotion. All of this torture would come to a head when he got to laugh in Vasquez’s stupid, pretentious face while he took a well deserved vacation on some faraway resort planet with Vaughn and Yvette. However, Rhys was quickly snapped out of his thoughts as a hand slapped itself down hard on his butt. The man let out a yelp, papers flying everywhere from his arms. Immediately the blue tailed man felt furious. He had just organized those papers dammit! 

He was about to whip around, and start telling the person off, but the words died in his throat as soon as he got a good look at the man’s face. Oh. OH! That… That was the face from all of the posters in his office. Those were the feathers of every fanboy’s fantasy. The physique of someone that Rhys absolutely adored. 

“Ha-Ha-Handsome-”

“Alright kiddo, let’s not have an aneurysm,” Jack laughed, hand still on Rhys’ ass. Oh he was about to make this little bluebird’s dream come true, “Spit it out kiddo, and tell me your name while you’re at it.”

Rhys had to take a moment to collect himself, and keep himself from passing out in front of his idol. “Y-You’re Handsome Jack. THE Handsome Jack!” Rhys finally spit out through nervous laughter, “Oh my god Handsome Jack…”

“Okay, okay, yes I’m Handsome Jack. Don’t…. Don’t come in your pants kid. That’d be real embarrassing and real awkward for both of us,” the peacock said. Okay, maybe he should’ve picked a different approach, “Now I believe I asked for your name bluebird.” 

With his entire face turning red, and his brain going numb, “Oh yeah. Yeah! I’m Rhys.” The young man was mentally slapping himself. He was acting like a brainless idiot in front of Handsome Jack. His idol probably thought that he was a brainless idiot. It didn’t help that his nerves were getting the best of him and he couldn’t stop laughing. Eventually he recollected himself and came back to the reality of his situation. The blue jay looked back down at all of his paperwork, the paperwork Henderson asked him to collect, the paperwork he’d spent hours sorting, scattered all over the tiny office. Suddenly, his joy sunk to the bottom of his stomach. He started to bend over to pick up the paperwork. He wished the floor,  would swallow him up in this moment.

Meanwhile Jack was checking out the younger man’s ass. Blue feathers curled up in pretty little waves. It was clear Rhys really took care of his appearance and made sure that he pampered himself. He also wondered what those pretty blue feathers would look like scattered around his room and in his bed…. He’s pretty sure that’d be a wonderful thing to see, but he’d get to that eventually. The peacock had to remind himself that he didn’t want this to be easy. He wanted to work to have this little bluejay and show him a real good time. 

Eventually Rhys stood back up and looked over the papers sadly. Hours of organizing all down the drain. Henderson was going to have his ass for sure! He turned around and was surprised that Jack was still standing there. He swallowed the lump of humiliation in his throat and dared to speak. “Can I help you sir?” His heart almost stopped as Jack looked into his eyes. 

“Hm? Oh yeah, actually you can pumpkin,” Jack grinned, causing Rhys’ heartbeat to stutter, “Rhys right?”

Rhys nodded.

“Alright, so Rhys, I was wondering if you’d like to, I dunno, go out with me for a bit? I could buy you coffee and maybe take you out to dinner. You’re a handsome fella, and you look really cute when those tail feathers of yours are all ruffled. 

Rhys couldn’t breath. Was Handsome Jack, THE Handsome Jack, asking him out on a date? Suddenly Rhys couldn’t form words again. He nodded rapidly, face reddening. Then he remembered Henderson and his heart fell. “Actually I love to, but I have so much work and-”

Jack started to laugh, “Pumpkin, blue bird. Are you forgetting who you’re talking to? I’m Handsome Freakin’ Jack! The best looking peacock on all of Hyperion! Consider your work day done. Just tell me who you work under and consider yourself free for the rest of the day.” Or for however long Jack wanted him.

Rhys couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He couldn’t let this opportunity slip away. “Henderson!” he blurted out, “I work under Henderson.”

The peacock’s nose wrinkled, “Ugh that asshole. Tell you what blue bird, this date goes well and I’ll make you my personal PA.  No way am I gonna continue to let someone who looks like you work under a creep like Henderson.”

Rhys had to be dreaming. 

“Meet me on the platform in an hour, your work day is over,” Jack winked and started to walk away. His colorful tail feathers proudly on display as he left. Rhys couldn’t take his eyes off of him as he walked away.

“O-Okay,” he whispered. Rhys kept standing there when Jack was gone. When he finally came back to his senses, paperwork went flying everywhere. He took off down the office like no one’s business, small blue feathers trailing behind him. He had to tell Vaughn and Yvette. He was going on a date with Handsome Jack, and he’d gotten a better promotion than he’d ever dreamed of. The bluejay couldn’t have imagined a more perfect day.


End file.
